Sitzfleisch

Thanks to one of my favorite friend's request for me to be her morning pages buddy,
I have recently delved into the discipline of "Sitzfleisch,"

Elizabeth Gilbert's term for showing up and doing her job,
which for her is sitting down and writing every morning.
It is her way of dealing with the inevitable disappointments
embedded within the pursuits of a creative and artistic life,
"the sheer human love and stubbornness to keep showing up to do [her] job."

Having had the brief flirtation and subsequent let-down with a possibility that is not within my reach, 

learning to have some faith and accept that events play out in their own perfect time,

worrying about loved ones who are bravely and fiercely fighting their internal battles, 

being surrounded and supported by beautiful, opinionated, artistic, loving, and strong women,

basking outside in the perfect weather and pure sunshine, and the warm summer rain and stormy cool,

soaking in the daily discoveries of a world reawakened and clothed in all its spring glory,

this question strikes a very distinct chord in my heart.

I have had plenty of ammo for my morning pages...

I have recently begun the humbling process of articulating what I really want on paper:

what do I want out of the world, out of my efforts and goals, out of my discipline and artistry,
what do I have to give out of my creativity and love, 

what do I hope to gain from my loved ones, my friends, my mentors, 

what choices do I make consciously and unconsciously 

regarding my circumstances, my values, my desires? 

Kristin, thank you for getting my butt finally in the chair, and setting pen to paper.
This morning's pages were inspired by this wonderful TED talk by Brené Brown.
It is such a reminder to live consciously, to stay awake.

And hearing you remind me to honor my instincts, 

and then to hear Oma remind me over the phone in her oh-so-wonderfully-Oma way,

"die Segeln der Seele so setzten, daß du mit dem richtigen Wind fahren kannst,"

made me realize that my intention this summer is to
dare greatly.

May your summer be full of daring, thrilling adventures, self-discovery,
and as much kindness as you yourself exude!

photo via {pia jane bijkerk}