summer discipline

It is the academic summer, and I am struggling with this so very, very much especially with days that have become so fragmented by my little poppy seed's feeding schedule. Now that we are on a pretty consistent schedule I have about 1 hour of productivity in between feedings, dishes, laundry, cleaning, and my own feeding. Yesterday, I decided to spend my morning hour on grocery shopping, and then my afternoon hour on cooking dinner with fresh greens from the garden that MUST be eaten or frozen. And then I got distracted by the weeds and propping up my tomatoes in the garden which also desperately needed attention. And suddenly, the day had evaporated. 

I am listening to a book about the attention economy, and am so struck by how my mind functions now that taking care of the baby has changed it so drastically. My goals for myself are huge but broken up into digestible pieces that happen on a daily basis: I need to finish my assignments for my grad course, work on my dissertation, edit my article for publication, exercise for my mental health, cook real food for my physical health (aka not rely on frozen stuff), allow time for socialization, and practice for my own self respect. 

I might not be as regular here on this platform, but I will keep checking in.

I recently saw a headline about middle age that I clicked on because I thought that it might relate to me. It was the first time I have thought of myself approaching middle age, which caught me by surprise. Maybe this is a sign of middle age. Maybe it is just finally learning a lesson that I have struggled with for so long: I have found a freedom in rhythmic discipline and consistency and I am not ready to relinquish it even if I am criticized for being too serious or no fun mcgee.

Happy Monday and here's to a good slide towards the end of summer to us all.

via {sh•t academics say}