I’ve been hanging around this marble for over half a century, but in many ways I’ll always be a student. Clichés aside, I never get tired of the little sizzle in the brain when a new wrinkle appears, whether I’ve just stumbled on yet another bit of useless ephemera (thank you, Wikipedia) or discover some new bit of history that seemed to elude me in Mr. Deutschbauer’s 11th grade AP class. I suppose it was ever thus; after all, I’m the product of two exceptional teachers, who offered up by example the spirits of inquiry, perseverance and trust in those who value critical thinking and the pursuit of well-intentioned artistry.
These days, I am privileged to spend nearly every moment of my day in community with a number of exceptional teachers. Some, you may know: their names appear on concert marquees and on the title pages of great books. Others, you don’t; they are the ones who take quiet pride in making the world around them a little better by collecting the recycling or serving food at a restaurant-- they don’t even realize that they are teaching. But they all have something to offer, and I try to make a point of taking something away from every chance I have to share a little bit of space and time with each.
I have to say, though, that the teachers that make the biggest impression on me these days are students themselves; There is just something magical about the time in one’s life when the mind is ripe for new ideas, and yearning to feel that same little sizzle. Some of these students are, of course, my own children; the mixture of wonder, awe and pride I feel learning from them is something nearly indescribable, and certainly a sensation I never new could exist before I was smack dab in the middle of parenthood.
It has been pretty easy to feel depressed about the state of things in our little corner of the earth, especially over the last four years or so. But, like so many of you, I take great comfort in the fact that this generation of young people is in many ways infinitely better equipped to take on the challenges that await us as a common people in our world. Like it or not, the Internet Age has brought with it a connectedness and peer-to-peer exchange of thoughts and ideas that have begun to chip away at centuries-old ideas of societal strata based on race, gender, sexual orientation and so many of our common human variations. Sure, this generation will never know how to use a dial phone or make a purple ditto master, but they will also never know why on earth anyone would have been opposed to same-sex marriage.
But with it, the Internet Age has also brought the erosion of many previously sacrosanct firewalls in the way that we interact with those in positions of authority, or at least those with a body of work which earns some degree of reverence. And a byproduct of this flattening of interactive systems is the regrettable loss of self-perspective; if my Reddit comments are in the same typeface as Noam Chomsky’s, well, then, our opinions on the human condition must be equally informed. So, we start typing in all caps and guess what? The next thing you know, a reality TV personality has been elected President of the United States.
That brings me to the thing that we seem to be calling “cancel culture”. Let’s say right up front that racism, sexism, and abuse of power are unacceptable in a civilized society, full stop. When these things exist, we must make every effort to cast these and every hate-borne action out to sea for a slow, starving death. And we’re living in an era when many purveyors of self-absorbed, hateful weaponry are rightfully being called out by name, destined for a lifetime of shame.
But at what point is it appropriate for one who considers outing someone on a website or an anonymous email to act as judge, jury and executioner? What is that point in time when someone who says or does hateful things officially crosses the threshold into “beyond hope” territory? Surely, there is such a point; but how do we determine where it is? I would think that it is sometimes easy: Someone who abuses a child or bilks money from the elderly would not be a great candidate for clemency in my own personal court of law.
But isn’t a crucial part of the human condition the act of making (and then learning from) one’s mistakes? If that were not the case, then none of us would have passed basic arithmetic, let alone learned to play a musical instrument or speak any kind of language. With the full understanding that the severity of one’s mistake often has a direct proportion to the degree of hurt it causes another, aren’t we all entitled to the chance to learn from our misdeeds? Even a federal death sentence carries with it a mandatory appeal, and even the harshest criminals must be afforded equal protection under law. Isn’t that why so many of us took to the streets after George Floyd was murdered?
All of us have much to learn. And I think all of us might have something to teach. So in that spirit, here are a few ideas I’d like to share with all of you students, of all ages. Maybe you’ll find some of this interesting, and some of it appalling. But receiving and considering a teacher’s perspective-- even if you ultimately decide to disregard it-- is what being a student is all about, isn’t it?
1. Learning something excellent is very, very difficult.
I can’t count the number of times I’ve said something like this to my own students: If (insert something excellent) were easy, it wouldn’t be worth your time. Everyone would be able to do it, and it wouldn’t be special. It’s a near-certainty that whomever is spending the time to teach you this excellent thing probably has a greater depth of knowledge and/or experience than you do, as hard as it can be to admit that to yourself. So, as counter-intuitive as it may be to the spirit of Internet-spawned universal equality... humble yourself. You are going to be on the receiving end of criticism-- some of it justified and some just plain petty. Either way, learn to receive it, and summon your inner furnace to convert that into positive energy. It’s incredibly hard to be told that what you are doing doesn’t meet a standard, and those of us who spent years in conservatory can attest to the crushing blows that criticism lands on an artist’s already fragile sense of self-worth. Instead of allowing criticism to define you, consider instead making it the fuel that propels you toward that place where your potential and your achievement finally intersect. Deeming one who would criticize your work and your art as just an old jerk that hates you and shouldn’t be teaching is the easy way out; Derive a greater inner strength from your ability to receive criticism, give it due consideration, and offer respect to its dispenser.
2. Human beings sometimes do dumb things.
Yes, it’s true: We’re not machines just crunching a bunch of external data and generating programmed responses. We are prone to malfunction, usually several times a day. And of course, the vast majority of the dumb things we do cause very little hurt, if any at all, to anyone but ourselves. But yes, we are also capable of making colossally awful decisions that reverberate with others in ways to which we can be oblivious. Sometimes it’s because we act out of blind anger, and sometimes we are just plain ignorant. Other times, we’ve arrived at a point in time in which our upbringing or surroundings did not prepare us to be kind and respectful enough to one another. Of a hundred people reading this, 98 will raise their hand and admit that they have, at some point, spoken or acted in a way that was immediately hurtful to someone. And the other two will lie about it. Point is, we’ve all been guilty of bad judgment at some stage in the game. At this very moment, you’re thinking of something terrible you once said to someone else, and it’s making you wince. Could that terrible thing you said or did show up on an Instagram page tomorrow? There’s no guarantee that it won’t, and that your career could suffer irreparable damage as a result. So please: Before we cancel the people we know that have done something hurtful (meaning, all of the people we know), please take a moment to consider if that person deserves the chance to rise above it... a chance you’re enjoying right now.
3. Responsibility is not a salad bar.
I used to get really angry when I felt that I wasn’t being given a requisite amount of credit for something I felt I did well, onstage or off. Fortunately, I’ve reached the age (and the twilight of my performing career) when these things are no longer important to me. But man, oh man... it really burned me up when other folks got the onstage shuffles and solo bows, and I was left skulking off into the night. But on the occasion when I did get some credit, I felt a mixture of vindication and relief. It took me a while to realize that credit is just the flip side of responsibility; You can’t pass up one and expect the other. As a student, we learn to be responsible for our work in the form of preparation and engagement; those who skip this step often find themselves on the receiving end of the just criticism described above. When we make the massive mistakes I described in No. 2, one of the key elements in resolving the pain we cause is accepting responsibility for our actions. Likewise, one of the most courageous acts we can perform as human beings is standing up for injustice, out loud and in public. And in many cases, speaking out against something we see as fundamentally wrong is made more strong when we personally accept the mantle of responsibility for our beliefs-- and, like it or not, can be diluted if doing so is too fearful or dangerous a proposition. Choose carefully which path you intend to take when rightfully speaking out; if credit is at all of interest to you, then responsibility must come first.
4. You can’t always get what you want.
It’s catchy, that phrase. Do you know the next line? “But if you try sometimes, you might find you get what you need.” One of the realities of our time here is that the overwhelming majority of everything that goes on around us is just simply out of our control. We can choose what socks to wear, or our thesis subject, or who we’d like to marry. But all of those things involve only us; each of us is just one little spot of 7.5 billion others. At every level of organization, from the young couple to the five-piece chamber group to the 30,000-student university to the whole of the United States, we must enact and observe policy that enables us to exist in peace, live and work as a community and promote the well-being of the group. Policy like this can sometimes feel arbitrary or unfair; sometimes it actually is. But effective policy is not only created when prioritizing the greater good, is it often based on time-tested ideals and logic. Yes, times change and realities change. The U.S. Constitution itself is under constant scrutiny and interpretation, and when deemed appropriate-- although rare-- it is amended. But students would do well to give thought to policy as it pertains to the welfare of the community at large (as well as the legacy of the body it governs), rather than solely as a function of our own wishes. And then, if the policy still seems flawed, enter a reasoned, well-informed dialogue with policy makers about your concerns. Making demands right out of the chute only serves to poison the process of reshaping and updating those things that could use a polish. And after all that, you still may not get what you want. But if you try sometimes...
I guess that’s all I wanted to say. Students, please know that I’m inspired by you. As a parent of college students, I’m just awed by your ability to navigate this age with the enlightened, inclusive spirit that seems to grow with each year. Keep working hard, keep talking and keep listening. Celebrate yourself as an human individual, and accept the strengths and weaknesses that come with that. Be a part of your community; walk together, laugh together, lift each other. Above all-- please be kind to one another. I promise you’ll never have to apologize for that.
written by a professional musician who works in academia
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