I had this huge audition a few days ago. Although I did not really want the hours and commitment of a full-time job, I really wanted it for the following reasons: the prestige of winning a legitimate job, proof to all the haters that yes I can do it (my own pysche being the biggest hater of all), a regular income, payment for work I am already doing for free because I am a student.

Wow, it feels good to admit that out loud.

It was a learning experience in every sense of the word. I had never made it that far in an audition before, I never knew the mental and physical stamina it takes to stay focused in that kind of elite competition, I did not know I had it in me to compete at that level, and I am thankful for every second and effort of preparation leading up to it. I was elated to hear I had made it through 3 rounds to finals, and then blew it in the finals with a sudden rush of adrenaline that blocked out my rational thinking. I felt like a bull in a china shop, a cartoon character with a firecracker tied to its butt, and a maniacal teenage go-cart driver all at the same time. Like I said: a learning experience in many senses of the word.

This pretty little purse costs a pretty penny. I had seen it in a different color this summer in Charlottesville, waiting for the fall colors to come out, holding out for...wait for it...purple of course. I had it open on my computer for weeks as my reward if I won the job. I am glad I have not given in to my lust of a few months. It will remain my carrot for my next two tries in November.

And I must confess, I am hooked: I am intrigued by the prospect of conquering my fears, by the process of working hard and smart to get some results, and by the struggle of staying disciplined.

Keep your fingers crossed for me, and send me all your karma for the month of October!

Hobo International Official Store, HOBO-1262 Paulina,

Hobo International Official Store, HOBO-1262 Paulina,

Hobo International Official Store, HOBO-1262 Paulina,
via {hobo}


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